leaving an addiction 한 두 걸음씩, 궁극적 자유 Liberation

I have a closed part of me which I have been refusing to disclose for years and years. This year, more precisely following graduation in March, I will be returning home and disclose my insecurities to my parents. I am very nervous but also excited to share my thoughts and experiences. Sharing something negative is difficult for me. Sharing positive experiences is a critical part of my life. I want to be that person who brings positive energy. Perhaps this is the reason why I refuse to share my difficulties for all these years. I have always been 'well, fine, great and happy.' 
Last year I was blessed with friends whom I was able to share my thoughts with. It was oh so difficult - as it has taken years till this step of first exposure. The step followed by sharing of my pains with a school counselor. The experience was not the ultimate cure. However it was oh so refreshing and liberating. Slowly in the time frame of few months and weeks I felt completely free. However a small glitch in my schedule have drawn me back into the difficult thought cycle once again. This bump on the road is not devastating nor horrific as I have experienced much detrimental pains and horror. But it is a sign that I need to take another step from here. There are improvements need to be made. 

Coincidentally at this time of a new year - I am composing a resolution to be honest with my family. To be completely true and open to those I care the most. I feared my pain would disrupt the peace of our family. The peace which I cherish more than anything ever. It is so right and perfect - I didn't want to be a smudge on a finished portrait. Everything was in its place with such balance and rightness, I wanted things to stay as such. 

Maybe it's my age that allowed me to realize I can depend on my family. To stay well and at peace despite difficulty. Maybe it's my experiences which built me up to such maturity to not only understand but also accept that difficulties are part of life and part of relationships. Maybe it's just how it is. Maybe it's just time. I can't say for sure why 'now' I have enough courage to be honest. There is no regret in what I have not done earlier. Only grateful this realization has finally come. Appreciating life and family more and more with each day and each year. Learning true happiness. Being able to depend on other and to let myself go free. Being liberated.