눈이 내려 일주일동안 학교를 쉬었다. 교과서를 뒤지면서 진도내용을 듣지만, 워낙 부족한 강의시간이 줄어 마음이 편하지만은 않다. 뒤숭숭한 와중 즐거운 방학 하하. 몇 일 친구들을 만났더니 몇 일 혼자 있어야겠다는 생각이든다. 그저 순서적인 것들, 굴레처럼 하나 이 후 반대의 것이 진행되어야한다. 오전에 카페에 앉아 정리해야 하는 일들 중 미루었던 것들을 몇 가지 정리. 

오늘의 하이라이트, 올 해의 하이라이트라면 창준이가 오늘 D.C. 에 도착했다. 짧게나마 빌린 전화로 통화를 했는데 목소리에서 별 다른 느낌이 들지는 않았다. 녀석 걱정보다 기대가 많은 듯 했는데, 잘 지낼 것 같아서 다행이다 하하. 녀석이 같은 나라의 반대편에 있다는 생각이 드니 왠지 가까워졌다는 느낌에 사무치게 보고싶다.  
졸업은 일년이나 남았지만 일년 밖에 남지 않았다. 졸업이라는 단계 이후 가능성이 상당히 넓어진다. 가고싶은 곳도 많고 하고 싶은 일도 많다. 천천히 차분히 생각해야한다는 생각을한다. 나의 선택들이 나 자신을 제한한다. 내가 보고싶은 시험, 가고싶은 학교들의 지역, 배우고 싶은 범위의 프로그램을 제안하는 학교들, 모두 나의 선택의 범위를 작게한다. 그것이 부정적인 것은 아니지만 제한은 제한이다 it is what it is. 할 수 없기에 하고 싶은 것이 오히려 많은 요즘이다.  


여행을 위해 가고싶은 지역:

미국
일본
중국 몽골
호주
인도 네팔
 
직업을 위해 가고싶은 지역:

미국
뉴질랜드
일본
중국
호주
인도  

모든 것은 나의 위주이다. 내가 하고싶은, 내가 보고싶은, 내가 원하는, 내가 궁금해하는, 내가 알고싶은, 나나나나나. 늘 나의 세상과 결정들은 나의 위주이고 그 뿐이다. 숨을 길게 쉬어본다, 정리가 되지 않지만 글로 적으니 천천히 체계가 잡힐 것이다. 
솔직하게 학교가 지겹다. 하지만 지금 학교를 마무리 짓는다면 일생 후회 할 것이 분명하다. 기억하자, 아직은 아니다. 몇 년만 손에 꼽히는 숫자만 더 투자하자. 사실상 학교 밖에서도 할 수 있는 공부가 상당하고 배움자체로써 학교의 기능을 존중 할 수 없는 단계에 왔다. 학교를 옮기면서 그러한 생각이 더 든다. 대학교가 받는 존중에 비해 학교의 역활은 상당히 미흡하다. 오히려 굉장한 것은 대학교가 아니라 개인단위의 학생들과 교수들의 에너지와 역량이다. 학교자체의 공간은 말 그대로 그저 공간이고 '장'이더라. 학교가 아닌, 개인단위에 대한 존경이 생기면서 학교에 남고싶다는, 학교에대한 로망 따위가 점점 줄어들고 있다. 
하지만 분명 학교는 그러한 개인들의 집합임으로 물론 아름답다. 그저 그에대한 가치가 사회적으로, 혹은 지금까지 내의 시야에서 과대평가되었다. 졸업장이라는, 학위라는 것에 대한 인식 .. 물론 사회적으로 편리한 도구이지만 그 자체에 대한 긍정적인 의견이 줄어들었다, 한 마디로 실망.

사람을 만남에 대해: 대화에 있어 나의 의견에 반대의견을 듣는 일이 피곤한 경우들이 있다. 물론 반박 할 수 있는 것들, 이미 고려된 반대 방향들을 직접 다시 듣는 것은 시간과 에너지의 낭비로, 괜함으로 여겨진다. 이렇게 점점 혼자있는 시간이 편리해지거나, 이러한 나의 성향에 맞는 사람들을 만나게된다. 점점 범위가 좁아짐을 느끼는 요즘, 이러한게 '나이'나 '세월'따위에 연결된 고리들인가보다. 이십대 20s. 즐겁고 벅차고 안정의 시작이며 변화의 연속. 그야말로 '모든 것'의 공존, 격하면서도 10대의 충동이 마무리되어 안정의 시작이기도한 기이한 시점이다. 성장의 과정 와중이면서도 정착에 가까워지는 .. 행복하다고하자, 행복하다 하!.

시간에 대해:
나의 시간의 사용:

가족과 쉼
가족과 의미를 두고 만남 - 행사 기념일 등
글 씀 생각정리
독서
공부 자료검색 및 정리 
친구들와 놂
친구들과 대화
일상을 벗어남 
사회적 필요를 충족 - 서류정리, 학위를 위한 학업 등
 
시간의 사용, 이 정도로 정리 .. 가 되는구나. 나는 왜 블로그 포스팅 따위에, 생각 따위에 이런 아쉬운 시간을 투자하는가. 아니, 나는 왜 사회적 필요 충족에 이런 아쉬운 시간을 허비하는가 .. 시간 아 ..


궁극적인 생각: 늘 어떠한 선택 후 모든 것은 괜찮을 것이라는, '사실'이 마음에 자리잡아 나를 편하게한다. 절대적임으로 논리적이지는 않지만, 경험으로 보장된, 나에게는 '사실'이다. 경험이 나은 것인지, 관점이 나은 것인지, 성격인지, 어찌되었건 나의 궁극적 생각은 괜찮다는 것. :-) 주말이다!
Posted by water_
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What It’s Really Like to Work at Google

Google. It’s one of the most common household words in today’s modern society, and yet for a company that is used by most of us essentially as an algorithm, it tends to trigger a highly emotional response when overheard. It’s a dream job for college students nearing graduation, a highly coveted invitation to lunch by friends and colleagues who work near campus, and the bane of existence for those who produce content for the Internet. For several years, most of the public has seen quick glimpses of the life of those who work at Google: offices filled with primary colors, couches, large kitchens, massage chairs, and even hammocks. There’s no doubt that working at Google comes with perks; not only does Google provide the traditional benefits like health insurance and extremely competitive pay, but Googlers are treated to free breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, free on-site massages, car detailing, on-site fitness centers, and even napping pods.

It’s almost as if you could live on campus and never leave. Google’s motto is (apparently) “Don’t be evil,” and it goes out of its way, every day, to ensure Googlers live extremely well on campus. But what is this life really like?

One software engineer on the Mountain View campus, who is married with an 18-month-old son, says that these perks encourage a work-life balance. For example, he comes into the office around 9 a.m., and may leave for salsa dancing classes with other Googlers at 2 p.m. He then comes back, codes for a few hours, then may go to a bar on campus with some colleagues, return to work, and then go home around 7 p.m. He says he typically gets back to work, while at home, around 10 p.m. To him, this is the epitome of Google’s work-life balance, though the amount of personal life in his day amounts to less than three hours with his family, assuming the rest of the time is spent sleeping.

Other Googlers do use the full features of the campus to essentially live and breathe Google, ensuring they stay healthy and fit with Google’s exceptional dining facilities, on-site gyms, and medical teams while demonstrating a devout work ethic. It’s no secret that one of the biggest perks of Google is the food — in fact, some warn new hires of the “Google 15″ due to the massive options, especially at the Mountain View campus. Google features full showers and locker rooms, enabling Googlers to work as hard as they want, potentially for days at a time. A former contractor for Google noted that many of the engineers and sales teams “are always pushing themselves and each other. I saw a lot of really determined, competitive people there,” to the point that they would stay on campus for several days at a time.

Brilliantly, Google has designed all of its offices so its employees can stay at work overnight, without having to worry about a thing — such as their hunger, health, or hygiene.

What It's Really Like to Work at Google

That is, unless you have a family. The software engineer I spoke with usually makes the choice to go home, as do the members of his team. He notes that “there are a large collection of people who have families on [his] team.” However, he also explains that at Google, “your compensation is correlated to the amount of effort you can put in.” While he says there is no direct pressure to conform to “crazy hours,” he hints at the reason he lives a Google-centric life: His pay is directly related to the amount of time he spends with Google. For those who can’t keep up with the demand, they simply have no choice but to leave, as previous (and notably older) Google employees have done when they must make the choice between raising a family or getting a raise. (I personally know at least one former Seattle-area Googler who quit under similar circumstances after being forced to either choose seeing his newborn less, or receive a demotion if he didn’t travel more.)

But is Google really that bad? For those who strive for work-life integration, rather than crave work-life balance, the Google lifestyle seems to truly be a dream. The software engineer I spoke with highlighted that there really are “no hindrances to leave campus, as Google wants to make sure that [it] can provide you with the means to get things done without knocking you out of [the] productivity zone.” Employees can punctuate their day (like he does with salsa classes) and grab food, play a game of pool, or nap as needed. He said that “as an engineer you can get into the zone, but it’s hard to get back into it if you’re knocked out.” He said that at Google, the design of the campus and the company benefits are definitely a “way to get the most out of employees,” allowing Googlers the mental breaks they need to be the most productive.

Google also ensures its employees that it’s not all work, and no play. In fact, this might be the biggest misconception of Google employees. Not only does the office look fun; it is fun. The engineer told me that alcohol is extremely prevalent on campus, complete with several tiki bars. He said that at these bars there are “glasses of wine and scotch available, and if you try hard enough, you can always find alcohol” somewhere on campus.

Drinking? While working? While you might crack a beer on your desk at 4 p.m. on a Friday, drinking is just part of the job at Google. The software engineer even revealed that “some managers even pressure their teams to drink.” Googlers also celebrate a “TGIF” every Friday, where even more booze flows freely. During these sessions, a New York Times best-selling author might speak, or Lady Gaga might perform, with Googlers filling the cafeterias of multiple buildings to listen and watch. Other times, it’s a very casual happy hour that often lasts late into the evening — all while never leaving the cozy confines of their home away from home. Luckily for these Googlers, the Mountain View campus is now starting to serve meals on weekends. (Hangover brunch, anyone?)

Google’s closed doors have cultured an open environment internally that has empowered its employees — at least the ones who can afford to live and breathe the search behemoth — to speak their minds. The problem is that Google is growing in not only in its own power, but in size, and in age. Young, unmarried Googlers can easily choose to work more than those who are older with kids and are being compensated accordingly — which forces those with more tried and proven talent to join other corporations. Google is also losing its agility as it grows — the perks now come with red tape and decisions are harder to make by management. Google is no longer a fun, whimsical startup with a few young kids with big ideas. In fact, some town hall meetings about controversial decisions, such as the Google+ real names policy, get so heated that discussions between other Googlers erupt nearly to the point of physical violence (which is notably not tolerated).

Working at Google is a choice to eat, sleep, and breathe Google. It’s a conscious decision, and also an emotional choice for each employee. While we as consumers, dream-job seekers, and bloggers each feel a specific way about Google, we merely enjoy a Doodle or stress about changes to the algorithm. However, those inside the castle walls feel nothing but Google, and only because of Google.

And while those from both the inside and outside see an office that is, according to that software engineer, “an area that feels organic and free flowing so you don’t feel like a cog in a machine,” that is exactly the antithesis of the culture that Google has bred. While employees rave about the amount of alcohol available, the free food, and the lack of hindrances to leaving campuses — and yet say they are a free moving object — it’s hard to deny that working for Google sounds like being a part of, well, something else.

The only real question is: Where is the Kool-Aid?

Posted by water_
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